1.  sexually active teens tend to be more depressed – especially those that are followers of Christ, because the guilt thing is pretty heavy.  Other pressures tend to contribute too, like stressing about how to hide the activity from parents or other family members, relationship problems with friends who are aware (could involve jealousy issues), worry about pregnancy, std’s and getting caught.

2.  sexually active teens tend to be more physical with thier partner in public. – if you notice that they have their hands all over each other in your living room, chances are, they’ve gone much farther in private.

3.  sexually active teens will be very interested in your schedule – in order for them to hide their activity they need to know when you’ll be home or at what time you’ll be expected.

4.  sexually active teens will be consumed with trying to find time they can be alone with thier partner – they will justify this by saying things like, “we just need to talk about stuff” or they may go as far as to say, “it’s none of your business what we talk about” 

5.  sexually active teens tend to be more obsessed with privacy when it comes to facebook, email, cell phone and other communication.  they do have something to hide…

If your teen is sexually active here’s a couple of resources from focus on the family about how to deal with your feelings on it, and how to talk to them.

about helping a teen stop being sexually active:

http://family.custhelp.com/app/answers/detail/a_id/25887

how to help a teen draw boundaries in a relationship

http://family.custhelp.com/app/answers/detail/a_id/25940

Just from my heart…I don’t want my kids to think that sex is a bad thing…actually Kristi and I teach our children that sex is a great thing.  God created sex and called it “very good”…and it is very good.  Sex is one part of a healthy and Godly marriage, and if a husband and wife enjoy each other as God created them to, then sex is an incredible gift. 

Sex isn’t the issue or the problem when a teen is sexually active.  Holiness is the issue.  If we truly are living in Christ we are living in holiness and obedience to His Word.  Jesus said, “if you love me, you’ll obey me.”  John 14:23-24

For God’s perspective read 1 Corinthians 6:12-20

If you present the Word of truth to your teen in love, and model for them what healthy and spiritually mature relationships look like every day, then you can know that you’ve done your part. 

Every person has to choose between God and the flesh.  Your teenager ultimately will have to make that choice for themselves. 

Talk to your kids.  Use the resources.  You have the power.

Ephesians 6:1-4

www.nhccyouth.com

here’s the news story: http://www.kcci.com/news/27774046/detail.html

Ask your teen if he/she knows Victoria.  Talk about the reality that no one in life has a guarantee to live.  Victoria was wearing her seat belt, but, it didn’t save her life. 

You could ask your son/daughter who ultimately saves us from this life? 

Read Colossians 1:15-23  http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=col%201:15-23&version=NLT

Ask them, what does this Scripture tell us about how God has taken care of us?  What is most important to remember when someone who knows Jesus dies?  Is living a life in Christ more important than anything?  why?

For more resources on helping teens handle grief: http://www.hospicenet.org/html/teenager.html

for other Scriptures on problems you or your teens face click here:

http://nhccyouth.com/539373

Talk to your kids.  You’re the parent and nobody has more power to deal with the issues your child faces than you.

Ephesians 6:1-4

You may think that your teen would never cut themselves, but, do you know for sure?  I know that many teens struggle with self-image and awareness; does your teen?  Before you discuss this sensitive topic you may want to learn more about cutting and why kids do it. 

http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/mental_health/cutting.html

Demi Lovato who is a star on the show “Sonny with a Chance” on the Disney channel has recently made her struggle with cutting and other health issues public.  I applaud her for this, because it helps parents to understand why our kids feel the need to do stuff like this.  Maybe you can learn something about this from someone who has/is living it.

http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/demi-lovato-interview-teen-star-leaving-hit-show/story?id=13412192

You could watch this video with your teen, then ask them what they think about her struggles.  Do they know anyone that cuts?  Have they ever thought about it? 

Use this as a time to affirm that they are more important to you than life, and that you want to help them heal if they are hurting.  

Read Romans 8:5-39 - you can click this link:

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans%208:5-39&version=NLT

Can you identify some things God says in His Word in this Romans Scripture that helps people deal with feelings that lead to behavior like cutting?

In the movie “To Save a Life” issues like cutting, suicide, teen pregnancy and general depression are addressed.  I know it seems like a lot of stuff to deal with in one movie but, it’s a great resource to start a conversation with your kids.  The movie is pg-13.  You can watch a trailer here:

http://tosavealifemovie.com/

If you promise to show this movie not only to your teens but share it with other parents and/or teens I’ll give you a copy,  I have several in my office.  Just shoot me an email/fb or text. 

for other Scriptures on problems you or your teens face click here:

http://nhccyouth.com/539373

Talk to your kids.  You’re the parent and nobody has more power to deal with the issues your child faces than you.

Ephesians 6:1-4

for middle school and next level scroll down:

High School:

2 Thessalonians 2:15; Matthew 24:42-51

This week our family groups are discussing a couple of scriptures about the end of time, and how our understanding that Jesus could return at any moment should shape the way we live.

It’s great to be familiar with biblical passages that talk about Jesus’ return or future events-but so what? How do these verses and truths affect teenagers’ lives today? We are discussing how an understanding of the End Times provides clarity for today, hope for tomorrow, and gratitude for God’s plans and purposes.

I’d encourage you to take a few minutes this week to talk with your teenager about our lesson. Here are some questions you could include:

• Jesus told his disciples to “keep watch” because they wouldn’t know exactly when he would return. How might people live or act differently if they knew exactly when Jesus will return, and why?

• How can knowing that Jesus will someday return affect your attitude about telling others about him?

• In your family group, you talked about how an understanding of the End Times can provide clarity for today, hope for tomorrow, and gratitude for God’s plans and purposes. Which of these points had the biggest impact on you, and why?

Take a few minutes to pray that your student will continue growing spiritually by living and walking in God’s purposes and plans for life.

for a full lesson guide on this parable email:  daren@newhopechristianchurch.net

Middle School/Next Level:

Joshua 2:1-24

Is it ever OK to lie? Have a family discussion about these situations:

• Is it OK to lie to a friend to keep a surprise party a secret?
• Is it OK for undercover police officers to lie about their identities?
• Is it OK for parents to tell their kids that Santa and the Easter Bunny are real?
• Is it OK to lie about liking someone’s cooking to avoid hurting the person’s feelings?

Talk about what the possible outcomes or consequences could be from these lies. Take a family vote and decide if it would be OK to lie in those circumstances. Then read Joshua 2:1-24, and decide if you think it was OK for Rahab to lie in her sticky situation.

for a full lesson guide on this parable email:  daren@newhopechristianchurch.net

High School:

Matthew 25:14-30

This week in our family groups, we are taking a look at the final parable for our four-week series, the parable of the talents in Matthew 25. Jesus used this story to teach the importance of using the gifts, talents, and resources God gives us.

Encourage your student this week to find ways to honor God by using a particular skill, gift, or talent. Talk about the “menu” of career options. Discuss how your teenager could serve right now using those gifts, talents, and skills. Share what you loved to do when you were a teenager and how you’ve used your skills and passions to honor God.

Here are a couple of questions related to our small group lesson that could help fuel your conversation:

• What are some blessings, resources, spiritual gifts, and talents God has placed in your life?

• How does giving our best honor God? How does not giving our best dishonor God?

Thank you for your teenager’s involvement in their family group.  We hope that you continue exploring the parables and never stop telling stories of how Jesus is working in your lives!

for a full lesson guide on this parable email:  daren@newhopechristianchurch.net

Middle School/Next Level:

Acts 7:51-60

This week we are continuing our study on “What Really Matters”.  In this study we are asking the question, “Do I Have to Like Everyone?”

Have you ever been really offended by something someone said but never got a chance to tell the person how the words hurt you? Even though many people are hard to get along with, the Bible tells us to treat others the way we want to be treated. Easier said than done, huh? Talk to your child about a time you went out of your way to love a difficult person. How did that feel? Hard? Satisfying? Healing? Even though we don’t deserve it, God still loves and accepts us.

for a full lesson guide on this parable email:  daren@newhopechristianchurch.net

High School:

Matthew 25:1-13

This week is our third study in the parables series, and our family groups are looking at the parable of the 10 bridesmaids. Our lives here on earth are temporary. We were designed and created to worship and honor God with our lives for eternity.

This week, the parable we are studying is about getting ready for Jesus’ return and living in a way that the people around us realize there’s something eternal beyond this life. Our focus is not so much on any end-times event but rather the idea that we were created to live lives and make choices that help us get ready for Jesus’ return and help point people toward Jesus.

I want to encourage you to find time for some healthy conversation with your teenager. Here are some questions that tie back to our family group lesson:

• How is living a life that honors God similar to running a race or competing in a sport and receiving a prize?
• What are some new or modified habits that would help you grow as a Christian?
• How might your knowledge of Jesus’ eventual return affect the way you interact with people who haven’t made the decision yet to follow Jesus?

It’s my prayer your teen is growing in Spiritual maturity through weekly Bible Study and through relationships with others in their family group.

for a full lesson guide on this parable email:  daren@newhopechristianchurch.net

Middle School/Next Level:

Revelation 3:14-22

This week we are beginning a new study on “What Really Matters”.  For this study we are asking the question, “Do I really have to be a Jesus freak?”

Teenagers just want to fit in, so the thought of being set apart as a “Jesus Freak” is scary!

But it’s important to stand up for things we believe in. Tell your child about a time you took a stand for something you felt strongly about—maybe a coworker asked why you pray before lunch or you debated your views on abortion with a relative. Knowing that you made it through that tough time will help your child stay firmly rooted next time his or her faith is tested.

for a full lesson guide on this parable email:  daren@newhopechristianchurch.net

High School:

Matthew 18

We are continuing our family group series studying parables Jesus told. This week, we are talking about forgiveness. Sometimes it’s hard to forgive others, and it can be hard to accept forgiveness. Using the parable of the unforgiving debtor in Matthew 18, we are reminded that because of what Jesus did on the cross, God offers to forgive a debt we can never repay. If we’ve experienced God’s forgiveness, we can turn around and forgive people who have wronged us—a much smaller debt than what God has forgiven.

What has your teenager done to disobey or hurt you or someone in your family? If your teenager never disobeys you, please stop reading this and let me know what you’ve done to raise your child and I’ll forward that message to all the other families in our church!

Teenagers are great. But they sometimes don’t pick up their shoes from the hallway, help a younger sibling reach a glass in a kitchen cabinet, or tell you the entire truth the first time. The next opportunity you have to talk about some offense, encourage your student to specifically ask for forgiveness and then articulate that forgiveness directly.

I’d encourage you to find time this week to talk with your teenager about the family group lesson. Here are some questions that can help launch your dialogue:

• Why is it easier for most people to receive forgiveness than to give forgiveness?

• When did you most recently forgive someone for something, even though it was hard?

• Why do we often remember how often someone has committed a particular sin? Does that mean that we haven’t really forgiven that person? Why or why not?

Learning forgiveness is tough, but practice is the key! Continue to encourage your teenager to seek God’s forgiveness and to forgive other people. Thank you for letting your child participate in a family group each week!

for a full discussion guide of this lesson email: daren@newhopechristianchurch.net

Next Level and Middle School:

Luke 24:13-35

Here’s a fun little trick to play on your family this week. Have you ever taken a sip of a drink that you thought was Sprite, only to find out it was water? It kind of throws you off-balance for a second when you’re expecting one thing but get something else.

The Jews in Jesus’ day were expecting a certain type of Messiah. They thought he would be a powerful political or military leader. Imagine their surprise when the Messiah came in the form of a helpless baby! And imagine their dismay when he grew up to teach a way of living that was opposite to the way people acted—turning the other cheek, paying taxes, even carrying luggage for Roman soldiers, for example.

Talk to your teenager about a time things turned out different from your expectations. Maybe you were disappointed by a movie you’d been looking forward to, or maybe you’d dreaded a job change that turned out to be rewarding. Remind your child that things aren’t always as they seem.

for a full discussion guide of this lesson email: daren@newhopechristianchurch.net

High School Family Groups:

Luke 15

This week in our family groups, we will talk about the love that Jesus shows and how he attentively and intentionally meets our needs. We are going to look at the parable of the lost sheep in Luke 15 and discovered how a shepherd will do anything to get his sheep back. And we will also discover in Psalm 23 that like a shepherd, God takes care of us in many different ways.

When your teenager is facing a confusing or stressful situation, ask if you can pray together to ask Jesus to help. I’d also encourage you to talk with your teenager about this week’s family group lesson. Here are some questions that could help launch your conversation:

• Why did Jesus describe himself as a shepherd?

• Why do we leave God’s paths to pursue our own? What are some of the consequences in your life if you choose to leave God’s path?

• What makes it hard to trust Jesus with things that are really important to us?

Also, challenge your family members to care for each other and the needs of others more specifically and intentionally. Do you have a neighbor who had surgery and needs someone to mow the lawn and bring dinner? Is there a family in your church that has a hard time driving one of their own to worship or to school activities? Find some way to care for others as a family.

Thank you so much for allowing us to be with your teenager in our family groups. It’s a great privilege and joy!

for a full discussion guide of this lesson email:  daren@newhopechristianchurch.net

Next Level and Middle School:

Did Jesus sin?

Matthew 12:1-14

The Bible tells us that Jesus never sinned (see Hebrews 4:14-15; 1 Peter 2:21-22; and James 1:13). That’s a foundational belief for Christians, but you might be surprised to find that many teenagers don’t understand this belief. One survey found that almost half of the teenagers polled believe that Jesus sinned while he lived on earth.

Sometimes we get so caught up in debating the finer points of Christianity that our kids forget or miss the basics. Spend some time talking to your child or teen about your core Christian beliefs—even if they seem basic or obvious. You’ll be helping your them create a solid foundation for his or her faith. Here are some basics:

• The Bible is the inspired, authoritative Word of God.

• There is one God, eternally existent in three persons: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

• Jesus is God, was born of a virgin, didn’t sin, died on the cross, physically came back to life, ascended to the right hand of the Father, and will personally return.

• People receive forgiveness of sins and eternal life through Jesus.

for a full discussion guide of this lesson email:  daren@newhopechristianchurch.net

High School Family Groups:

Matthew 25:1-13

This week is our third study in the parables series, and our family groups are looking at the parable of the 10 bridesmaids. Our lives here on earth are temporary. We were designed and created to worship and honor God with our lives for eternity.

This week, the parable we are studying is about getting ready for Jesus’ return and living in a way that the people around us realize there’s something eternal beyond this life. Our focus is not so much on any end-times event but rather the idea that we were created to live lives and make choices that help us get ready for Jesus’ return and help point people toward Jesus.

I want to encourage you to find time for some healthy conversation with your teenager. Here are some questions that tie back to our family group lesson:

• How is living a life that honors God similar to running a race or competing in a sport and receiving a prize?
• What are some new or modified habits that would help you grow as a Christian?
• How might your knowledge of Jesus’ eventual return affect the way you interact with people who haven’t made the decision yet to follow Jesus?

It’s my prayer your teen is growing in Spiritual maturity through weekly Bible Study and through relationships with others in their family group.

for a full lesson guide on this parable email:  daren@newhopechristianchurch.net

Next Level and Middle School:

Was Jesus a “Wacko”?

John 5:16-30

Has your child ever described someone as being strange or crazy? Maybe it’s someone at school who talks to himself or a neighbor who has 37 cats. People who are different are often labeled as weird.

Some people describe Jesus that way. He said and did some pretty outrageous things when he lived on earth—raised people from the dead, forgave people’s sins, even died and came back to life three days later! If someone did those things today, you probably wouldn’t disagree that the person seems pretty weird.

But so far, everything that Jesus said would happen did happen. Jesus was not a liar. And he was not crazy. Jesus was and is exactly who he claimed to be: the Son of God. Talk to your teenager about characteristics of Jesus that some might consider weird. Then take a minute to praise Jesus together for always doing what he says—even when it seems pretty crazy.

for a full discussion guide of this lesson email:  daren@newhopechristianchurch.net